My Columbus Top Ten (Part One)

It's hard to believe that this will be my last summer living in good ol' C-bus. To be honest I've felt little connection towards Hilliard or Columbus in general. Now that the reality has hit me that we're leaving for good I'm starting to realize that Ohio hasn't been such a terrible place to grow up. I take the city for granted, but I'm fortunate to be working downtown this summer and can drive through the Arena District and down High Street blaring my O.A.R. for a few more months. For being a mid-size Midwestern town it's not the worst. So here are ten things (in no particular order) that I want to do this summer and you should consider doing too! And if you want to do them with me that's even better ✌


1. A Columbus Clippers Game at Huntington Park
I had the pleasure of attending one of these games with Michael Cochran -- who has now abandoned us all for Chicago -- last summer. Baseball games just feel like summer. The whole atmosphere from the cheap hot dogs, to the ringing organ chords and kids sitting on their dads' shoulders to watch the players lope around the bases, just screams summertime. The new park is amazing as well. It has the feel of a big-city ballpark with it's new location in the Arena District. Tickets are completely affordable as well, I think Michael and I each paid $5 for our tickets last summer. You can follow the Clippers for more deals and info on Twitter @CLBClippers

2. Rhythm on the River
BalletMet really is a treat to have in C-bus. As more and more companies call it quits this small but mighty company continues to soldier on and tackle diverse, moving pieces year after year -- and I don't just say that because I work there! Every August the company gives a sneak preview of the season to come at a little amphitheater down by the Scioto River. It's a really unique experience. Learn about what's going on at BalletMet (and read my future tweets as an intern) @BalletMet

3. OAR (@ofarevolution) at Lifestyles
Last year was my first O.A.R. experience and it was amazing. Despite many fans' critiques of their newer contemporary sound, I don't mind it. Still prefer their older stuff (mostly because Shattered was so overplayed on the radio) and the Stories of a Stranger album will forever define the summer of my Sophomore year. What makes seeing them in Columbus such a unique experience is that they were students at Ohio State and their song "Home" is all about Columbus--the place they found a 'second home'. I guess I relate to this now more than ever because I'm not sure where my home really is. We've lived here since I was 3 so it's the only home I've ever really known. Anyhow, regardless of your music preferences I guarantee you'd enjoy their live show. It's just a lot of fun!

4. Fantasia Bubble Tea
Bobby Hajjar exposed me to the greatness of Fantasia Bubble Tea on Bethel Road when we were BFFs junior year. The cute little Asians that own it are nice but a word of warning: They will try to get you to drink the 'red bean' flavor. DON'T FALL FOR IT. It's some kind of horrible mixture that was described to me as tasting like "yams." Why I decided that a liquid form of yams would be delicious? I have no idea. Just don't do it. Also a game of chinese checkers or chess is a must whilst sipping your frozen, bubble filled concoction. I think the bubbles are made of tapioca. I don't really want to know exactly what they are made of, so just don't ask questions.

5. North Market (@NorthMarket) & The Short North

The North Market describes themselves as "fabulous foodies, persnickety purveyors and artful artisans under one 44,000-square-foot roof peddling the fresh, the tasty, the exotic, the beautiful and the special." It is all that and a recyclable bag of free trade organic chips. It's basically this huge open market inside a big warehouse-like building at the end of High St., the gateway to the Short North. There are 35 different merchants that sell all kinds of yummy, delectable foods from popcorn to fresh fish to Indian food. My favorite stand is Jeni's ice cream. They make the most interesting flavors. For instance, my favorite mix is lavender, Thai chili, and some kind of dark chocolate goodness, the name of it I can't remember. Caitlyn Kinkead once said "I want this in my veins" in relation to the lavender ice cream. You know it must be good when someone wants an IV drip of it.


The Short North is kind of like a giant Broad Ripple to put it in perspective for my Bulldawgs. It's a district along High St. that has all kinds of little shops including upscale clothing boutiques, vintage shops, bars, the super-snooty Hyde Park Steakhouse, coffee & tea joints, and extends onto OSU campus. There are tons of art galleries throughout the Short North as well and they have a gallery hop around the beginning of every month. Evolved piercing and tattoo shop is also located on the outskirts near campus, which I highly recommend for piercings (and tattoos too as I can attest to as a witness). It's just fun to walk around and explore all of the various places. Also important to note that there are quality Yankee Trader and Dollar General stores on High St. Always a good time.

Check back soon for the next five!

changed+scattered+processing=mind

I forgot what I was going to write this blog about...and now I remembered. It's finals week, therefore I'm cutting my scattered brains some slack.

Seven statements, things, to dos. thoughts. Expect the rest of this blog post to be like. this.

1. I've decided I need about an hour out of every day to find and download great music. My startup disk is almost full because I have so many songs on iTunes but I need MORE. I'm like a music junkie right now. Luckily Pandora, Grooveshark, and Soundcloud keep me from tweaking most of the time.

2. I think I just sneezed up my frontal lobe. That was painful. This whole record high pollen count thing needs to stop. I'M NOT JOKING. Check out pollen.com also known as my new homepage. It's not as bad today as it has been so I should probably be thankful for that.

3. I typed 2 and had to go back and delete it to make it a 3. Sorry number 3, you're going to be a pointless point anyways.

4. I can no longer watch commercials or look at advertisements the same way, which is interesting but also pretty annoying. I guess I'm learning something from my classes. Mom and Dad should be proud. Example: Tonight I was watching Gossip Girl in the informal with Danielle and Lauren. A Slim Fast commercial came on during the commercial break, and not just any slim fast commercial. This one. Why would you put a middle aged woman trying to sell a weight loss product on during a television show watched by high school and college aged girls? Most of us eat cheetos and qdoba every night, we don't care about the slimfast 3-2-1 plan (or maybe everyone else does and I don't. wamp wamp). Gossip Girl has a new style of trailers though which I really like. They've got a sepia kind of haze and big bold headlines. Me likey.

5. I'm getting selfish. I have started every sentence in this blog with the letter I. But really, I need to do a volunteer project of some sort.

6. I had a really interesting conversation with my research methods professor today. Normally I am not a huge fan of that class. Don't get me wrong, the professor is a very approachable nice guy, I just don't understand those methods well and I hate it when I can't pick up on a concept quickly. We were discussing my topic for my research question (which I should be working on right now) and began talking about social media, smartphones, and generally technology's impact on Gen X versus Gen Y. For instance, how a group of people can be gathered together at a restaurant yet all be talking to other people on their phones rather than engaging in conversation and "living in the present." Or for instance how today the average teenager sends 50-70 texts a day and 7th graders own Blackberrys. We even began discussing the implications of this communication shift in relationships, and how it has contributed to the new "hook-up culture." The average age of marriage for a woman is 28 now. That means that most women probably won't meet their future husband in college and most want to develop their careers and establish themselves professionally before settling down. Therefore they see no reason to settle into serious relationships and instead engage in those kinds that are merely physical -- hence the use of distanced communication like texting rather than calling or talking in person. It was very provoking, definitely gave me something to think about as I walked around campus today.


7. I need to get this whole fall internship thing figured out. My biggest fear is just that I'm not ready. I keep convincing myself I haven't had enough experience -- but I have and I know I can handle a really challenging position. I'm sure you've all read the whole "Our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure" psych up pep talk speech and I've gotta go with FDR on this one. The only thing I should be fearing now is fear itself. I need to just send those resumes out. Some will get rejected, I might get an interview and still not get the job, but it's worth a shot. Looking at all of the seniors at the awards banquet tonight made me realize that they went though this same shabang. It's all part of the process. Just have to suck it up. A lot of times I'm just lazy and I forget how good it feels to step up to a challenge and face it head on.


Back to work

Taking my own advice

I feel like I'm definitely sitting at the same place I have been for a while. Actually it's the reason I blog like I've said so many times before. Just trying to define myself. Figure out what makes me and who I want to be.
I had a friend who contacted me about a year ago after I hadn't seen him for quite a while. This is what I wrote him back. I'm a pro at dishing out advice that I find hardest to follow myself:

Just take things one day at a time. enjoy the journey and don't be so worried about the destination. I've made a lot of mistakes and really messed up in the past. But I guess lately I've realized you have to stop looking back and just move forward. You have to do things for yourself and stop worrying about what other people may or may not think because they don't really matter anyway.

I think for a great deal of my life people put me up on a pedestal or expected perfection from me and I hated that. At the same time that didn't mean that I needed to prove my imperfection. I was trying to see myself through their eyes rather than how God sees me. He sees all my flaws, all my human faults and desires and loves me just the same because with him all of those mistakes are erased and forgotten. You just have to remember what he thinks of you, not what the world thinks. and thats a really really hard thing to do.

I'd Rather Be With You

Now that the first week post Spring Break has ended my life is resuming to normality. Last week was ridiculously busy and I had to be motivated even though all I really wanted to do was look through pictures of Jamaica and be home. I was able to go home last weekend for Saturday and Sunday so that was nice, but not nearly long enough.

The Jamaica trip was amazing. I decided to do this trip on a whim. It was something I had thought about since last year but didn't have any plan about going. The deadline for applying passed, but I kept thinking about it and asked my parents if I should see if I could still apply. I was so nervous about going on a trip where I knew virtually no one else. A few girls from my sorority went as well but I wasn't very close to them prior to the trip. Another girl I was on dance team with last year was a veteran on the trip. The two mission trips I had been on before had been with teams from my church and so my dad or best friends were right there with me.

I think this trip may have even been better because it caused me to step outside my comfort zone and get to know other people I may normally have never even met before. It's been a great resource over the past week -- I ended up doing a "Rebuilding the Wall" service project downtown with a group from the YMCA and went to church with a few people from the group as well. You can check out the blogs we wrote during the trip here:
http://www.indymca.org/locations/branch.asp?id=13
you have to scroll down a little bit to find mine.

It's always different coming out of a mission trip. I like to think of it as free falling: The whole week you feel free and alive and like your life really has purpose. Then you have to come home, the equivalent of slamming to the ground. Real life is back, you have to put up with petty issues and attend meaningless classes. My mom has really helped me to remember that there are great ways to help in the community here. I don't just have to be in a foreign country to make a difference or help other people. That's a good perspective to have and something I'm working on.

I just miss Haiti, St. Vincent, and Jamaica. I like everything about the Caribbean (I mean, it's hard to dislike). Don't get me wrong, I hate the poverty. I hate that people are struggling to survive there everyday.
But I love their carefree attitudes.
I love that they have 70 different jobs and one of those probably includes trying to resell you a 50 cent bottle of water for $3.
I love the way they pray and are so passionate about their faith.
I love that they get dressed up like it's Easter Sunday every week for church.
I love the ingenuity of the children and their appreciation for the little that they have.
I love the unconditional love they shower you with. They don't know you or where you came from, but they love you anyways.

Taking the Spanx off life

My goal is to blog every day this week...and for each of them to be an entertaining good read!

So hopefully everyone knows what Spanx are. They are basically torture devices created to convince women that they look slimmer in whatever they are wearing (apparently they make undershirts for men now too). Think modern day corset. Maybe there are some people that find these effective and comfortable, but I am not one of those people.


It looks harmless, right? WRONG. Last week I had to dress up for a presentation and since I was spending so much time diligently working on my project I didn't have time to hit the HRC. I had bought one of these devices over break to wear with a dress that looked slightly more sleek with it on. Somehow I thought that wearing something that sucked all of the stuff that's supposed to be on the outside of my body into my visceral organs would be both attractive and comfortable.

I put the camisole-like thing on and was feeling pretty good. I put on the rest of my clothes and ventured into the formal living room of the Kappa Alpha Theta to finish up some homework. After a few minutes my breathing shortened. I felt like my ribs were being squeezed together by a vice. I started going in and out of consciousness...okay so I'm being a little dramatic. However, it was NOT working for me! I had to take that off and just deal with my body for the day. Inhaling never felt so good!

Sometimes if we try to hold things in or suck it up and pretend like a problem or worry isn't present it's a lot more uncomfortable than if we just let it out. You have to be real. Maybe a situation isn't what you expected or hoped, or perhaps you don't have the courage to say something that you've been holding in for a long time. Eventually your figurative ribs will start screaming, and chances are it will not be pretty. So be real, face up to the challenges life brings you and don't be afraid to take the Spanx off.

Retake

DISCLAIMER: this post is very long and disjointed. pick through at your own risk
k so...we're going to try this whole blogging thing again.

It's just like almost anything I do. I try it for a while, take a break, then miss it. So I come back and try it again. Maybe not something I want future employers to see, but it's the way I work.
I really miss blogging. I keep a personal journal (and truthfully, even with that I am not as in depth and persistent as I'd like to be) but it's not really the same. With blogging it's nice to know that maybe someone really wants to know about your life, and maybe they're feeling the exact same things you are.

Wow so it's been since the summertime. I don't even know where to begin. Actually, when I look back on last semester I feel like I didn't grow. There isn't too much to say about it. As much as I regret that, I appreciate it for what it was. It was all building up to second semester, the present, and the weeks and months to come. Even though I made some pretty phenomenal mistakes last year, I think I was more confused than ever the first semester of this year. I almost feel like even though I'm in the same grade as my peers, I'm not 20 years old. I'm 18. I just became an adult. I should be a freshman in college right now, free of responsibility, still feeling my way around. . .but I'm not. That's weird.

What's even more strange is that I had never felt that way before. All though middle and high school my age and maturity level matched my grade. In fact, I was usually a little more sophisticated than those in my grade. I guess I knew that I was confused about most of the aspects of my life since around 11th grade, but it didn't really slap me in the face until the end of first semester.

I just can't go on being two different people. The primary realization I've come to is that I don't have to "look a certain way." Not physically really, but I guess I have these different kinds of model people in my head. This is going to be super cheesy so feel free to mock, but it's almost like I have these wax figures in my head of how different people are

ex: http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2004/04/gallery/bknowles/beyonce5.jpg
creepy right? though I wouldn't mind being Beyonce

A social girl is thin, pretty, great hair, great clothes, loved by all of the guys, envied by all of the girls she knows (but they're still all her best friends right?), drinks (sometimes to the point of sloppiness but its forgiven), known by everyone who matters, and the life of the party.

A christian girl is quiet, well mannered, dressed conservatively, always carries her bible, never makes a dirty joke or a "that's what she said," doesn't ever wonder what the guy in her English class looks like with his shirt off, and doesn't go out.

A serious student doesn't miss class, always answers the teacher's questions, does all of the extra credit, takes excessive notes, and is never late.

A lazy butt skips class, sleeps in, doesn't try (doesn't care), isn't responsible, watches TV all day, and complains that everything wrong that happens in their life is someone else's fault

I have absolutely shocking news. Unfortunately, I fit none of these categories. None of them. I can say that I have tried (usually extremely unsuccessfully) every single one of them and, well, none of them work. I'm not happy trying to be any of these things. I don't feel fulfilled. I don't feel happy. I don't feel like it's where I'm supposed to be.

Which is why my own New Year's Resolution is also earth-shattering: I'm going to try and just be me. That's right Ladies and Gentleman, no walking the tight rope or juggling the swords. Not even eating fire. I'm just going to try and be me, and I think it's going to be a lot harder than anything Barnum and Bailey do.

One of the hardest things to pinpoint is where the "real me" went in the first place. Did I lose her in high school? Did she stay hidden in a cardboard box in the garage when I went to college? Maybe she fell out of my pocket when I went home for the summer? Or is it different than that? Is the real me who I am right now, or do I have to change? How will I know I have arrived at "the real me?"

It's like I said in my last post. It's all a journey and maybe there really is no "arrival." Here is what I do know for sure. I don't like what I've been and I don't like what I've done. I do like where I am now. So I'm going to try my hardest to keep being this person, and striving to be even more real and stop trying to act in a way that makes other happy or seemingly gains their approval.

With that being said, I deserve better than what I settle for. Abby's roommate has a great poster in her room that says, "We accept the love we think we deserve." I'm not really talking about romantic love because that's pretty much irrelevant in my life, but I think a lot of times I don't try for something because I'm afraid of not receiving it. Also not an earth-shattering revelation, but it really really sucks trying for something and not getting it. I'm tired of trying to be the best at things I am just not physically good at. BUT, I can't let those disappointments stop me from trying new things.

So I'll apply for internships I probably won't get. I'll search for jobs I won't be offered and try anyways. Because I could sit here on my butt and wonder why I'm not doing anything, or I could at least give it a shot and hope for the best.

A trip down memory lane...

Today was quite interesting.  I went down to BalletMet (you have to capitalize the M...you have to!) and shadowed a friend of mine who works in the marketing and development of the company.  The work he does is really incredible considering all of the different aspects he has to juggle, not to mention the ability to utilize creativity while still keeping everything in order.  I'm not too much closer to targeting what my ideal job is, but I have a feeling it will be more of a journey than a destination :)

One thing that I think some stress too harshly is having an ideal job or the ultimate career goal.  Not saying having goals is a negative thing -- you have to have something that motivates you -- but sometimes when your mind is so focused on one thing you lose sight of what is really important.  You may even miss out on something that was better than what you originally wanted, you know?

Being back at BalletMet is always nice and somewhat melancholy.  Today for some reason I just kept thinking about body image.  Naturally, being in a place where I was constantly critiquing myself and comparing my body to other people brings back this (really sucky) feeling.  

Body image fascinates me in a way.  I would love to be able to travel back through time and see how women in the past viewed themselves.  Did they care as much as we do now?  What about when it was actually beautiful to be more full-figured?  Would a skinny girl actually be the one feeling insecure about herself?  Did they go to great lengths to have younger looking skin or use numerous products to cure a zit?   Were women constantly worrying about breakouts, or was the topic of weight a common conversation amongst them?

Being healthy and participating in a lifestyle that respects your body is important, of course.  But I've gotta say, sometimes trying to look good all the time just gets tiring!  What's even more frustrating is when it's not even making yourself happy.  Whether you're trying to perfect yourself for a sport, the opposite sex, or that little voice inside your head that tells you you're not good enough or pretty enough, it will never be enough.   It can become an idol and take over your life, and for a lot of Americans (girls especially) I think its become a very real issue.  Of course, its a mental thing.  Its something you have to work through, and it will always be a hot topic as long as there are yo-yo diets and Oprah telling us we all have to try her mealplan so we can lose 50 pounds overnight.

The thing is, we are created in God's image.  Sometimes I forget that, "hey I have legs that work and I can see just fine and I've never even been to the hospital."  I'm pretty lucky and that's something I should be thankful for and praise God for keeping me safe instead of complaining about everything I think is wrong.  The truth is, God knit me together in my mother's womb and has a perfect plan for my life.  I'd say that's pretty amazing!  In Natalie Grant's book, she says "Who am I to question the craftsmanship of the Creator of the Universe?"  I say:  tru dat sister.