Okay so every year exactly one week from the time we leave for vacation I try to get in shape really fast. I think it’s a mental thing, like I think that by looking at people that are really in shape or do those pilates videos lead by people who are impossibly ripped I will suddenly drop 10 pounds and have great abs. Oh if only it were that easy. I took a boot camp class this morning and I am not impossibly ripped. My derriere, however, is impossibly sore.
Also I check out about 20 books from the library expecting to read them in a week. I could probably handle that if I wasn’t also watching kids, running away from scary dogs, forcing myself to work out etc. In the end I only read 5 and end up with a bunch of fines. I should seriously look into having Columbus Metropolitan Libraries dedicate one of those engraved bricks to me or something of that nature for all of the cashflow they get from my overdue books.
I had this grand plan this summer. I was going to get all deep and philosophical. I would pretty much memorize the history of every nation EVER and be a political science aficianado. Then when I got home really none of those things happened. Rather, I got cats, a nose ring, and read just about every relationship book in the library. Every girl should read “He’s just not that into you”. SO eye opening! Seriously. Give it a whirl.
I feel like I had reached a new level of understanding. Sure I have had functional relationships in the past, but truthfully in the past year all of my relationships have been dysfunctional or purposeless. Its not like I think that the next person I flirt with will be “The One” but really the purpose of dating should be to discover qualities in a person to see if firstly, you are compatible, and if not to have realized what you are actually looking for in a guy. It should be being truthful to yourself, not making excuses for the person in hopes that maybe they will change to be the person you really want them to be, or kidding yourself that what you have is real. You have to like the person for who they are. You also have to be honest with yourself, even when you don't want to.
It’s also not using someone else as a coping method or because you are lonely. It’s nice to have someone there for you. Sometimes life gets lonely or it feels like everyone around you has someone. And you’re just the sad cat lady with a bag of dove dark chocolates and Season One of Gossip Girl ready to pop into the DVD player. But you shouldn't settle just because there is some hole in your life that you can't fill (which is usually God anyways to begin with). Obviously neither of those situations are very healthy! I’ve learned you’re never going to find someone by sitting on the couch all day playing Sims or whatever (even though an occasional Sims splurge is so much fun). You have to get out and experience life! Life isn’t about finding that one person that makes your heart flutter and your head spin and make you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Because people will always let you down. Finding that person can only make your life better. But without loving yourself, who you are, your dreams, the journeys that have brought you where you are today, you can never love life, and never truly find someone to share it with you.
So basically what I’m saying is if you need relationship help, I’m totally your girl. And if you’re looking for an awkward double date partner, you know I’m always here for you. But mostly what I’m saying is that this is a really long blog post. And I am excited to be a Sophomore and to be fun and spontaneous, goofy and intelligent, beautiful and kind, and all of those things that I know I am. I don’t need anyone to tell me what I am, because I know who I am and I believe it. And once you do that too, wow life gets better. But I mean, compliments are always welcome still J
“I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t live without each other love”
The last episode of Sex and the City re-ran on TBS tonight and I couldn’t help but throw that one in. See! She had to dump the cool trendy artist man because she knew he wasn’t good for her. Unfortunately, in most of our lives our “Big” one true always there for us love wouldn’t show up in the hotel shortly after the break up to ease the pain. Whatever Carrie.
The purpose of life is a life of purpose